


The Devil Fools When April Comes

by A Random Writer (orphan_account)



Category: Harvest Moon, Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town
Genre: Amazing Shit Happens, April Fools Day, April Fools' Day, Classical References, Confession, Crack Treated Seriously, Fanon, Forgive me for I have sinned, HM Trash, I Don't Even Know, I don't even ship this, Mentioned Adult Content, Mineral Town, No Sex, No Smut, Non Canonical, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Or not, Other, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, Trolling, Weird Plot Shit, What is love, ayy lmao, baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7091095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/A%20Random%20Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When April first comes during spring, Carter expects nothing to happen since nobody visits the church during this day - and also because no ones even dares to troll a priest.<br/>Unfortunately, there <i>is</i> someone to troll a priest. And even worse: <i>during the confession</i>.<br/>(Written for a friend. SHE'S CARTER TRASH AND I FIND IT INTERESTING, KILL ME)<br/>(btw, january-february-april=spring, following HM way of creating years)<br/>Knowing the game is not <i>that<i></i></i> important to the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Devil Fools When April Comes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Plötzli](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Pl%C3%B6tzli).



> I don't even ship it, but I somehow find this idea amusing and uhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> well  
> I  
> ...  
> ... just read it ;w;'

The spring breeze filled Mineral Town in ways only the Goddess knew how to explain. It felt warm and chilly all at once, mixing Winter's goodbyes with the early welcoming hellos of Summer, making the weather a bearable and pleasing sensation.

The day would be really normal and kind...

... _If it was not April Fools Day._

Surely, whoever created this day had nothing better to do, and said "heeey, why not create a day in which people can troll each other without having to feel bad about it?"

That's what Carter thought internally, at least. He himself sometimes found some of the pranks funny - even if he did not like to admit it -, but the day was simply unnecessary to the Town and to everything else. Furthermore, nothing could really be done about it, so he just spent his day taking care of his small Truffles in the shed (that luckily no one discovered up to this day) and doing what some called "priest stuff".

The church was normally empty anyway, but today it was even more empty than the usual. April first came to happen at a Monday, so even Popuri did not show, and so the day was good enough to make some well justifiable [and needed] clean on the poor old church. Sweep the floor, do the dusting of the altar, check the candle's stock and the food stock (sure, he has a Truffle shed, but he _sells_ them; otherwise, how would he keep this church if he does not even receive donations?), wash the clothes, clean the kitchen, clean the windows... Things he normally did not do everyday, but that were surely needed.

Carter normally was a happy, calm man, but today was not one of the common days. He was a bit annoyed, silently praying for the Goddess to change things at least for once. He knew perfectly well that, on the following week, the church would be filled with most of the townspeople because of the "guilt feeling" about what they did during April first, and the consequences were not bad at all (filling the church), but the reason was. Oh, if people could come simply because they _wanted_ and not because of misunderstandings, if they could really understand how the Goddess feels happy about more people worshipping her in a thankful manner and not just asking for her help when things go bad...

And then, there was always that small voice on his head telling him to "give up". "Why don't you move to a town where people will give more importance to the Goddess?" it spoke, "Forget-Me-Not Valley's people are a lot more open to such beliefs than Mineral Town's ones".

Sometimes, he wondered if this voice was right. If it was - or even differently, if it was the Goddess herself telling him to do so -, he felt really unsure about how would he start over there and make people come to the church. Fortunately, the reasoning with this voice always made this thought fly away to somewhere else: if it was already hard to make people _here_ come by, when they all know him, then how would people who don't even know him want to watch sermons and make confessions? Well, decisions surely were not easy to make.

Taking the broom on the kitchen, he went back to the altar and started to sweep the dust. With almost no one coming by, dust pilled up quickly as the wind blew the soil in front of the church inside. The kids playing there also stained the floor, but this part did not make him mind a single bit.

He smiled at the thought of that. Although the children came simply to play, Carter felt empathy over them. Sometimes they shared lunches and stories, and the priest could even tell them about the wonderful creation the Harvest Goddess did while creating the world and humanity. The kids felt like these stories were simple tales Carter knew, but deep down, Carter felt that someday they would experience how the Goddess enjoyed every living being, breeze, dawn and twilight, how eclipses were great events to both nature and religion and how every star shone according to her power and Harvest King's will.

Carter carried on sweeping, enjoying the light of the sun that came from the windows. How could he remain annoyed if everything he looked at reminded him of how great the world is? Thinking about this now, he considered how childish it was of him to be in an unholy humour state. Still, he kept sweeping and thinking about the people of the town.

He remembered when he was preparing himself to give a sermon and there was the unusual presence of Ann once. He almost never saw her outside the Inn of her father, so it was a big surprise to see her sitting beside Cliff this one time.

Ahh, yes, Cliff - a nice person the poor guy was. Carter felt a lot less lonely when Cliff came to Mineral Town since the poor man visited the church everyday. It felt a bit funny since the ponytail-ed man always confessed his "sins" everyday, and none of them were real sins since he was a strict follower of rules; at least, he was good company most of the time...

...Until he started to work.

Not that it was something bad - really, the priest felt happy about it -, but it felt lonely considering he was a really nice company. Carter could not do much about this, but at least Claire was benevolent (and slightly selfish) enough to want to keep him in the town.

 _Oh Claire._ The thought about the blonde made the priest sigh, stoping his sweeping. She was the angel of the holy books he read, the one who descended to Earth and gave humans their desired emotions and the will of learning. She was the most loved crafting of Harvest Goddess, with her halo being her golden locks and her wings the purity inside her ocean blue eyes. Her body was the temptation, the Sun that made Icarus fall, the siren who attracted sailors to lose themselves in the neverending sea, the lust for power that made Lucifer fall from the Heavens. Truly, if she appeared before he entered the seminary, he was sure he would have had given up on becoming a priest and would love her until the end of the eternity - that is, if she returned the feeling.

He looked up at the stained glass window representing the Harvest Goddess hopefully. In years of being tempted, the desires and lust trying to call him and make him disobey, this year was the hardest to endure. Carter was sure, utterly and completely _sure_ , that if Claire tried to seduce him or even said "I love you", he'd be completely lost, and his self control and iron-will would be thrown out of the window along with his shame.

"Help me" he prayed silently, "for I am being tempted by the devil".

_And what a nice devil it was._

As if a sudden rush of pity hit his face, he finished sweeping as quickly as possible, going back to his chores. Even though today nobody would visit, he still wanted to open the church to confessions since it was _a "goddamn nice day to confess your goddamn sins, goddammit"_. And even so, today was the day in which "devils tempt you to make mistakes", so it was even more nice to do so.

_"Don't you think it would be nice of you to confess your sins as well?"_

The same voice that told him to move to Forget-Me-Not-Valley came to his thoughts, this time, teasing him about his sins - that is, his constant feelings of lust over someone he could not have nor should-. He reddened at this, wondering if, it was really the Harvest Goddess talking with him inside his head, then she knew perfectly well what he was doing and how he was one step of falling into the unholy cliff of desires.

 _"Well, it's still on my head"_ he half-answered the voice, not daring to speak it out loud since there could be someone outside even if the church was closed.

 _"That does not mean it's not a sin, Carter"_ it answered, the bittersweet tone hid behind the calmness of the voice. _"Lust can be a hidden desire and still be a sin"._

It made his spirit ache for a moment. How could someone who should be devoted to and only to the Harvest Goddess be lured to such a nasty and dull trap? Maybe he could forget this if he thought about something else while washing the windows.

Taking a bowl, he filled it with glass cleaner and water,took a brush and an old cloth, going to the windows right after.

...

Although he was fully sure no one would be coming by, Carter finished the cleaning as soon as possible, washed his face and opened the church anyway. Taking a book from his small bookcase inside his bedroom, he went to the confessionary room, waiting for something or someone appear.

Opening the book, he felt a bit ashamed that he was reading something forbidden by the church and disapproved by the Goddess - Madame Bovary. It was his utter and utmost secret that he enjoyed reading those old, slightly (or not so slightly) erotic novels and romances while still carrying his position of priest and _oh goddess forgive him. Please._

It was not a surprise that the man had recently started reading this, and even less surprising that he took it from the library anonymously, paying a nice amount to them while hiding his true identity. Carter felt like he was a corrupted man by doing this, feeling unholy by disobeying such primary rules - he was a desire-driven man, apparently, a weak "iron-willed" priest and a total sucker for stories of the kind he was reading. If the Harvest Goddess decided to visit his bedroom someday, she surely would wake him up by slapping him and telling him how hypocritical he was being.

_"See, Carter? As I told you, it would be nice if you confessed your sins. Don't you think you have lots of them? Even your books are about lust-clouded stories"._

The voice rang up on his mind once again. Carter sometimes wondered if it was not his conscience and his guilt talking to him.

He shushed the voice by reading; he had stopped at page 8.

 

 

 

> " _Lively once, expansive and affectionate, in growing older she had become (after the fashion of wine that, exposed to air, turns to vinegar) ill-tempered, grumbling, irritable. She had suffered so much without complaining at first, until she had seem him going after all the village drabs, and until a score of bad houses sent him back to her at night, weary, stinking drunk."_

Somehow, this image made him think about what if Claire married. The description was about the wife of Monsieur Bovary, and Carter deeply feared what if it was the exact same destiny to Claire. He knew about some of what people called "Bachelors" sins, and at least half of them had a moment of drinking more than the neccessary and returning home in deplorable states. Hell, there was one that got drunk early during a rainy day and went to confessions while drunk.

[The last one was a funny one, though.]

This made him feel an anormal pride building inside himself at this. To every bit of story he read, the more, he saw Madame Bovary as Claire, and the more he thought about how he would not be that damned Monsieur who just hurt her pride and honour with gluttony and sloth.

_"Carter"._

The voice came once again to his mind. He hadn't to hear what it had to say to know he was sinning by doing that.

Before he could carry on reading, the sound of the church's doors reached him, muffled by the closed door of the confessionary. In a sudden movement of panic, he went to the confessional booth and closed its small curtain, forgetting the book outside the booth.

When he noticed it, however, it was already too late to take it, and he silently blamed himself for this as the person knocked-opened the door.

Carter tried to shrug the feeling away, pushing everything he thought back to his small mental Pandora's box and pulling his calm, selfless demeanor back to the place.

Unfortunately, Pandora entered the room and opened his small box of secret lusts.

"Hello, Father Carter!"

He knew that voice too well; he saw the owner of it flushed and desperate too many times on his head, dreaming about shameful things he could do to her.

_It was Claire. She had come to confess._

He cleared his throat, thanking the booth for existing as he felt his cheeks getting hot and his breath getting slightly fussy. If it did not exist, he was sure Claire would look at him with a concerned (or scared) look.

"Why, hello there, Claire. Did you come to confess?" he spoke with his usual soft tone, the last bit of the phrase sounding a pitch higher than he aimed.

She nodded, pushing the door closed and going to the direction of the chair placed beside the booth. Claire looked down at it, raising a curious eyebrow at what was left on it.

" ' _Madame Bovary'?"_ she stated questioningly, taking the book on her hands with half innocent, half mocking eyes. Carter felt like she was probably holding herself from laughing at the finding. "Isn't that forgiven by church, Father?"

"Ah, yes, it is" he stated, his mind trying to work under the cloud of _mistakes_ that formed around the realm of logic on his head. "I suppose someone forgot it there and I didn't see".

 _How did he expect her to believe that?_ Well, nevermind that now.

"Alright then. Do you want me to give it back to its owner?" she asked.

"O-oh, no no, that's not needed" he answered, panicking a bit on his place while trying to keep himself steady. _C'mon Carter, self control..._ "It's probably from the library, so I'll give it back to them as soon as I can, thank you".

Claire felt uneasy, suspecting that the priest was lying. Shrugging it off, she placed it under the chair and sat, preparing herself to start the confessions.

"So... Can we start it?"

"Of course, Claire".

"Alright, then" she took a deep breath. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned".

[Carter heard a small snicker coming from her.]

"Since when did we start using such formalties?" he asked, giving a low chuckle at this.

"Ahh, I thought it was cool, sorry" she chuckled along. "Anyway, I'd like to ask for forgiveness for some sins I commited".

"What were they, my child?"

She started to fidget a bit. "I... slept late this week and woke up late as well".

_Why were you sleeping so late, hmmmmm?_

He pushed this thought away. "Why, that's not very nice of you to do with such body. The Harvest Goddess gave it to you freely, so it's an offense from you to treat it like that".

Only then he noticed how he used "such" instead of "your". If she was paying attention to what he said, then things surely would get awkward.

Carter heard a sigh coming from outside the booth.

"I... also littered close to Karen's house. I-it was an accident, I swear!"

The desperation on the second part made his urges come by with a leak of strength. His iron-will was almost bending to the extreme warmth of lust.

"It... was not nice of you to do that, Claire. Would you like if I threw trash on your bed, my child? I suppose not. Be careful next time!"

She went silent for a bit. He was not sure if she was pondering if she should carry on with the confessions or not, or if she was just feeling like the next sin was a bit too "strong" to be told. Confessions are made so the person will suck up their pride and admit it, but sometimes these sins are a bit too heavy to be told as the "following" of these smaller things.

"Father, there is also something else I need to tell you..."

The heaviness and guilt in her voice were all too real to his senses. His iron-will already bent over with the pression, and now he was depending solely on his morals and mental reasonings to not go get her done and everything else; _is it hot in there? Why do my clothes suddenly seem so heavy and tight?_

"I... fell in love with a priest".

His heart stopped all at once. Colour draining out of his face, he froze on his place as his morals stood a last bit of hope from keeping the urges out of the main power.

"He... does return the feeling, may I ask?" the phrase left his mouth quickly and in a barely audible whisper.

"I don't know, Father" she spoke. "Do you?"

Slowly, he rose from his place, hands trembling. His morals were screaming helplessly by now, and he felt the urge to jump onto her like a feral feline hunting its prey. Opening the booth, he was sweating dangerously, staring at Claire with mixed emotions.

"... Father, there's also another confession I need to do".

"What is it?" He asked huskily, barely a whisper.

"I also am a big sucker for April Fools Day".

He didn't get it at first; but then, she started to laugh out loud, and he soon understood what was happening.

"Happy April Fools, Father Carter!"

And went running away out of the confessionary room, still laughing.

Carter stood on his place, still frozen. Iron-will restored, his annoyance from early came back.

_... Maybe it's not a bad idea to go to Forget-Me-Not Valley._

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> kill me plz


End file.
